Public Policy
Regulation, trade, government and security, read for what they do to the businesses that have to live with them.
Public Policy is the vertical for the decisions made in capitals that land on companies. Regulation, trade and tariffs, elections and government, antitrust, and healthcare policy are the beats, and geopolitics and security appear when they change what a business can plan for. Three stories each weekday at 11, in our own words, linked to the publisher. We choose for the reader who has to model a policy risk rather than argue about it: the general counsel, the head of government affairs, the founder selling into a market whose rules are moving. Sources range from newspapers to think tanks and academic institutes, and we say which is which. The editor’s note beneath the day’s lead explains the choice and what to watch as the policy moves from proposal to enforcement.
Picture credit: By Touch Of Light - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=158822157
Every story we have kept in Public Policy, newest first. Headlines link to the publisher; the tags below narrow the list.
Years Of Learning To Love Self Undone By Single Glimpse Of Body In Self-Checkout Camera
Alena Reese's self-image was damaged after seeing her body on a self-checkout camera at Target, undoing years of therapy and self-acceptance. She was shocked by her appearance and changed her shopping plans. The incident occurred in San Diego.
Druid Loving This Cloak Weather
Fográith, a local druid, is enjoying the autumnal weather in Ireland, favouring the cooler temperatures to don his heavy bull-hide cloak and engage in seasonal activities such as brewing and divining.
Editor's noteFográith's enthusiasm for autumnal weather is a predictable indulgence, but the real story is the human sacrifice he's planning to burn alive. Watch the wicker man's construction, because the size and complexity of the effigy will reveal whether Fográith's Mabon celebrations are a harmless ritual or a harbinger of darker practices.
Weird Cleveland Browns Fan Has No Children On Team
A Cleveland Browns fan was seen at a game without any family members on the team, prompting confusion and alarm among spectators who questioned his motives for attending the game. He claimed to be a season ticket holder. His actions were met with bewilderment.
Trump Cancels Planned Livestream Of Jon Ossoff’s Execution
US President Donald Trump has cancelled a planned livestream of the execution of Senator Jon Ossoff, citing it as a deterrent for Democrats. The execution is still set to proceed, but without live broadcast.
‘Ted Lasso’ Fans Told That Show Going ‘Bye-Bye’ For A Bit
Producers of *Ted Lasso* announced a temporary hiatus, stating the show would “go bye-bye” for a period. Bill Lawrence explained the team needed a break, reassuring viewers they’d return soon. Fans were advised to rewatch episodes or play the show with a companion.
Trump’s Triumphal Arch By The Numbers
Trump's administration plans a triumphal arch in D.C. for the nation's 250th anniversary, with satirical commentary on its construction, including engraved typos, additional structures for corporate logos, and warnings for children, with an estimated 189 million viewers for its dismantling.
Trump Drops Bombshell Evidence Biden Actively Campaigned Against Him
President Trump alleges Joe Biden orchestrated a campaign to dissuade voters from supporting him, involving paid operatives and former presidents, and used attack ads to highlight Trump's perceived failures, aiming to sway the election in Biden's favor.
Editor's noteTrump's claims of a coordinated effort to sway voters against him are a thinly veiled attempt to delegitimize the election outcome. The real question is whether Trump's own campaign spent as much on attack ads as he alleges Biden did. Watch the FEC filings for Trump's 2020 campaign to see if they reveal a similar level of expenditure on propaganda.
Tips For Increasing Your Fiber Intake
The Onion suggests increasing fiber intake by reading food labels for fiber content, toasting white bread, adjusting fig consumption, incorporating beans, considering wicker as a dietary option, exploring high-fiber cuisines, dissolving paper straws before soda, and relying on Metamucil for fiber management.
Six Flags Closes X2 Roller Coaster Due To Brain Injuries
Satirical piece reports Six Flags Magic Mountain has permanently shut its X2 roller coaster over rider brain injuries, then offers darkly comic reactions from fictional staff members about drink prices, riding backwards, and cognitive function.
Dude Wipes Introduces New Flushable Khakis
Satirical report claims Dude Wipes has launched disposable trousers made from sewer-safe fabric that wearers can flush after an accident, with scented options and travel packs, and its chief executive floating tuxedo and surgical variants later.
Kash Patel Phished By Scammer Posing As Kash Patel
FBI Director Kash Patel is phished by a scammer impersonating Kash Patel, using his own name, photo and signature style to talk his way past his guard.
Baseball Analysts Call For New Stat Called B.L.E.P.H.
Baseball analysts demand a new statistic called B.L.E.P.H., seemingly more invested in inventing a cool-sounding acronym than in explaining what it measures or why.
Princess Diana Releases Bombshell Memoir
The late Princess Diana releases a posthumous bombshell memoir, reportedly settling old scores with the Royal Family and declaring she is done staying silent.
Xi Jinping Impressed With How Much Trump’s English Has Improved Since Last Visit
Xi Jinping praises Donald Trump's improved English since their last meeting, gently implying the president's vocabulary has grown to roughly a hundred words.
Dog Can’t Believe Guy She Hooked Up With 10 Years Ago Now Head Of FBI
A dog is stunned to learn the man she casually dated a decade ago is now the head of the FBI, spending her afternoon replaying the whole fling in disbelief.
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Robert Pattinson
The Onion runs a fictional exclusive interview with Robert Pattinson, who gives deliberately absurd, nonsensical answers about his films and acting process.
Guy Outside Obama Center Selling Cheaper Tickets To Something Called ‘Barry’s Magical Experience’
A man outside the Obama Presidential Center sells discount tickets to a fictitious attraction called Barry's Magical Experience, apparently unrelated to the real museum.
All Rise! Coyote Court Is Now in Session
A personal-injury lawyer weighs, straight-faced, whether Wile E. Coyote could sue Acme over defective goods. Mock tort law on the most litigated product liability in cartoons.
